Jesus, the good son

I’m not making this up.  It’s one of the “hard parts” of the New Testament…priests and ministers have a hard time with this, understandably.

“Then His mother and His brothers arrived, and standing outside they sent word to Him and called Him. A crowd was sitting around Him, and they said to Him, “Behold, Your mother and Your brothers are outside looking for You.” Answering them, He *said, “Who are My mother and My brothers?” Looking about at those who were sitting around Him, He said, “Behold My mother and My brothers! For whoever does the will of God, he is My brother and sister and mother.” (Mark 3:31-35)

In other words, it went like this: “Yo, man, what are you, deaf? That’s your mom outside with your family, calling for you.”  Answering them, he said, “Tell them to fuck off.  You people who are sitting here listening to me and believing that I do miracles, you are my family!”

Jesus was simply not a nice fellow.  More on this in subsequent posts.



Posted in General attacks on Jesus and Christianity | Leave a comment White House Ban on ‘Christmas’ Trees White House Ban on ‘Christmas’ Trees.

Okay, here we go again.  I’m….I’m….indignant!  How can people be so stupid as to have to worry about what the frigging White House does vis-a-vis their stupid god — or demi-god?  Is their silly Jay-zuss so wimpy that he can’t survive being spurned?

And of course, it’s not like ANY of the above-referenced rumor is true.  Which piles stupidity on top of stupidity.

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Who gives two squirts?

There’s currently a big to-do about Fox News idiot Megyn Kelly’s assertion that both Santa and Jesus were white.  (Actually, further betraying her pig-ignorance, I believe she said “are white.”)  As a result, well-meaning folks like gentle, liberal Christians have been posting images of a dark-skinned Jesus on Facebook, Google+, and probably Twitter, as if I give a shit about Twitter.

Why does he never have acne or anything?

Why does he never have acne or anything?

What’s odd about all the paintings of Jesus that you’ll see is that he looks like a woman, under all that facial hair.  He is the omnisexual answer to some people’s need to feel forgiven for some transgression.  But all this is beside the point.  Nobody knows what Jesus looked like, and nobody cared one way or the other, until Paul came along.  We tend to think of the Gospels as some sort of unique bit of writing, but in fact there were thousands of people writing all manner of hagiographical accounts of their favorite magician.  (Yes, Jesus was also a magician.  Read here.) The followers of Apollonius of Tyana certainly wanted him to be revered in the way Jesus later was; but they didn’t have a Paul on their side.  And few know how many Apocalypses there were at the time: they were as well known, and as well regarded, as Science Fiction paperbacks.  There were hundreds of them, and many still exist from that time.  They all share certain characteristics.  Lots of secret numbers; lots of explosions and death; supernatural beasts on the lines of the Hydra or Gorgon; mystical baloney.  One of them was chosen, the one by John, probably because it was the only one that mentioned Jesus.  It’s not any Jesus that the four Gospels prepare us for, though; clearly, this author has a rather different idea of nice guy Jesus.

The fact is this: Jesus was unknown by any but a few people at the time of his death.  Nobody particularly gave two squirts of goat shit, with the probable exception of his brothers and some women he had impressed.  He was just another dead guy.

Leave it to persuasive writing, though, and a guy like Paul, and you can exploit the times and the people to create a superstructure to an insane idea.  From Paul came a church, and from the church came more theologizing about a dead guy about whom nobody had written during his lifetime.  Makes one wonder about the direct quotes that we see all through the New Testament.  (I especially love the direct quotes of all those crucified with Jesus and those of the Centurion; given that nobody who wrote the gospels was anywhere near the crucifixion.)

It’s such small potatoes, this thing about Jesus being white, brown, black, or black and blue.  It really doesn’t matter.  He’s just another dead guy.  Very dead guy, of course, because 2000 years is a really long time.

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Atheists can be indignant, too.

I began this site with Christmas in mind: it is, after all, December 14 as I write this.  We’re right smack in the middle of the War on Christmas.  It happens every year.  Just in case you’re one of those wimpy Christians who love Jayzus but live in comfort and comparative luxury while one quarter of the world’s population will go to bed tonight with less than half a bowl of rice to eat, here’s a handy list of reminders.

It’s just insanity.  The whole thing s part of a general neurosis afflicting modern Christians — and yes, I say Christians, meaning ALL Christians.  What is Christmas, anyway?  Christians believe that a Son of God was born on December 25, in a barn, and that his birth was foretold by a shooting star that stopped in the sky over the barn so to lead three sages from the East to locate the baby King and offer their praise and gifts.    Either you believe that, or the whole New Testament is just open to interpretation — in which case, I can tell you that my interpretation is that it is pure bullshit.  But I digress.

Imagine, Christians, a Christmas without gifts.  Imagine a Christmas giving to those who have nothing.  A Christmas spent in Mozambique, sharing good food and medicine with a village that has known nothing but death, disease, and hopelessness.  Real giving, not the stuff greased by credit cards.   What’s that?  Your job is more important?  Hm….what was that about not being able to worship both god and Mammon?  How, precisely, does a Christian interpret that?

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